What Our Hearts Have Always Known
by patmar 34
Summary: Set in Season 7. Harvey finally comes to the realization and accepts that he is in love with Donna.
1. Chapter 1

**My first Darvey fanfiction**

 ** _What Our Hearts Have Always Known_**

 ** _Chapter One_**

Harvey found himself in a familiar place, alone, drinking scotch in his new office on the 50th floor. What a night he thought. Paula had just left an hour ago, leaving him alone with his thoughts. As he placed his head back into the cool leather of his office chair he could hear the rain pelt against the office windows. Those windows where Donna had reached out to him the night that Jessica had left. Since that moment, once buried feelings had haunted his dreams; he had tried to rebury them. She deserved the very best in life, surely he would only let her down, like all the others; but damn she was Donna, and nobody else could ever compare. He sighed thinking, she was _his_ Donna. Now she was haunting his waking moments too. Even Paula had seen through the facade.

He tried to refocus his mind. The wind and rain continued to pound outside. A storm was moving in; he sighed at the irony of it all ... a storm had been brewing for weeks with Paula and tonight it had finally culminated in her arrival at the office to say she wanted out of their new found relationship. He should be upset but he wasn't. He should have denied her charges against him, but he couldn't. It was all true. Somewhere deep down, and perhaps even closer to the surface than he had realized, he had always known it to be so. It felt almost like he had been resigned to this outcome. Had known the relationship was a temporary solution, a distraction from a never ending problem. _Donna._

Since Paula had left his office, Harvey had done nothing but pour himself a scotch and ruminate with her words running over and over again in his mind. _"Oh my God, it all makes sense now, you are in love with her too"_. She had come by the office unexpectedly after a meeting with Louis. She had marched into Harvey's office and demanded to know the truth. Apparently Louis had somehow insinuated to Paula that Donna and he had shared a night together once. The old Harvey would have been outraged or at least have pretended to have been outraged by Louis even knowing such information. But that was then and this was now and he was tired of pretending. When she questioned him about it; his face had said everything his voice could not.

 _"_ _Oh my God, how... how could I have not seen this? You never said Harvey, you never said you had slept together."_ Harvey looked to the window and back to Paula sighing _"How does that change anything?_ ". " _It changes everything Harvey"_. _"I knew Donna was in love with you but... you know, she came looking for you once to my office."_ Harvey looked at her in disbelief, almost hurt. _"You never said"._ Paula interrupted _"it doesn't matter now. We're breaking up Harvey and this is still all about Donna_. _How can you not see, what everyone else around here appears to know already."_ Harvey's face fell and he gasped looking away once again to the window. Paula continued _"I think Harvey Specter you are not being honest with yourself or Donna and you know it, deep down you bloody well know it ... "_ Paula waved her hand in the air " _I knew I should never have started this with you. I'm sorry Harvey, it was the wrong call,I was your therapist, it should never have happened, I should have known better._ " She turned to leave but stopped mid step. _"If I can give you one last piece of advice, if I can have something positive come from this; don't let her go Harvey. It seems the two of you are ruined for anybody else."_ He knew it, his face whitened and he pursed his lips together and swallowed, deep down he knew it all to be true. Paula continued _"Harvey it was never going to work with me or anybody else for that matter, it's always been her, hasn't it? and I truly believe it always will be._ With a weak smile Paula said _"Goodbye Harvey, take care ... find some happiness"_ and with that she was gone.

Harvey knew Paula was right. It had always been there between Donna and him. They had tried to ignore it, don't mention it and the feelings go away. Put it out of our minds. It had always been the elephant in the room. They had rarely touched since that night, an unwritten rule between them; which had not alleviated the tension but had in fact heightened it. Over the years he had broken his promise to Donna and had secretly allowed himself to think about 'the other time' as Donna had referred to it as. But he was always able to put those memories safely back into their compartment in his mind. Of late that had become more difficult. Of late he had found himself not being able to put those memories away, perhaps not wanting to. Harvey rose from his chair, feeling restless and suddenly feeling the need to be close to Donna. He knew she had gone home early today. Perhaps she was out at the theater. Did she have a date. His mind raced again...

Harvey found himself in Donna's new office. He smiled at the bright and beautiful decor. He slowly rounded the desk and sat down in her office chair, sighing as he did so. There in front of him on her desk was a letter. 'For Harvey'. Slightly confused and startled he reached for it, opening it quickly. All of a sudden he sensed its importance and panic began to rise in his chest. In Donna's handwriting he read ...

' _Dear Harvey, I didn't want to do this in person, we both know some things are better left unsaid, especially between us. The spoken word has only complicated things between us in the past. I am taking some extended leave and have cleared it with Louis. I know you won't mind. I also know that I said I have found my 'more' but the truth is, it was easier to say that in that moment. Maybe the 'more' I need and want is still to be discovered. There are some things I still need to figure out. Anyway I'm flying to Boston tonight to see an old friend. Take care Harvey, Love Donna_

Harvey shook his head and felt the panic building within his chest. He had to find Donna, he had to tell her, explain how he felt, answer the question he had been too afraid to answer all those months ago, apologize to her and stop her from leaving... His mind raced as he dropped the letter on her desk and ran out of her office to try and finally set things right between them. He just hoped that he wasn't too late.

 **To be continued ...**


	2. Chapter Two

**My first Darvey fanfiction continued ...**

 **What Our Hearts Have Always Known**

 **Chapter Two**

Upon leaving Donna's office, Harvey had called Ray to come immediately to P.S.L to fetch him. Now Harvey sat in the back of Ray's black Lexus, his back pressed into the seat. Harvey focused on the rain pouring down outside. Car horns beeping and people running with umbrellas trying to escape the torrential down pour. Ray apologized for the lack of progress, noting how the traffic was much heavier than usual due to the storm outside.

Harvey's mind had not stopped racing since he left Donna's office. Love her how? he had known then, but had been too afraid to go there... He had treated her so badly ... he had been too much of a coward to admit his true feelings all those months ago and in fact if he was to be wholly truthful all those years ago. He dreaded the possible fallout of admitting his feelings and not being the man she deserved. He felt ashamed of his behavior, the selfish way he had kept her to himself all these years without being there for her in the only way that truly mattered.

Harvey asked Ray to let him out of the car a couple of blocks from Donna's apartment. He hoped he wasn't too late. Ray tried to stop him saying it was too wet. But Harvey wouldn't listen. He hopped out with the rain pouring down and he broke into a run. With only one thing on his mind, he had to see her, explain to her and hope she wouldn't leave.

Upon rounding the block onto Donna's street Harvey spotted a yellow taxi. There about to put a suitcase into the back was Donna. Dressed in a beige mac coat and her hair tied up with a blue umbrella in her right hand. God she is beautiful, Harvey thought, thinking of all the times he had wanted to tell her that fact.

Harvey suddenly became aware that he must look a mess. His hair and clothes soaked through. He wiped the wet from his face. He didn't care. She was all that mattered now. Suddenly Donna turned around and she caught his gaze. She gasped, shocked to see him there and even more shocked at his appearance. _"Harvey, you almost scared me to death"_ , _"What are you doing here, you're soaking wet"_ Harvey approached Donna, not breaking his gaze upon her. So much so that Donna looked away, unnerved by Harvey's gaze and out of character demeanor. _"Harvey are you feeling ok?, what's happened"_ Harvey smiled and quipped _"You think I've gone nuts don't you"_ , _"Oh no Harvey that happened a long time ago"._ Banter she thought, banter was always safe territory for them; well relatively safe. Donna couldn't help but wonder what all this was about. Surely this wasn't the reaction to her letter ... Almost on cue Harvey spoke _"So I got your letter ... you're heading out of town for a few days?"_ "Donna nodded _"maybe more, depends."_ _"Harvey you're soaking, please tell me what's wrong, we'll talk inside"._ Donna turned to the cab driver and asked him to wait.

All of a sudden Harvey blurted it out, his heart racing, " _You asked me how?" ... "what"_ Donna said suddenly, her heart starting to pound in her chest ... _"You wanted to know how I love you"_. " _Harvey please, you can't do this to me again not here_ ... _Not now Harvey please." "No Donna I need to say this .." " But Harvey, what about Paula,_ _"We're finished, she ended it."_ Donna was stunned, but hated to admit it to herself, she was secretly relieved _"What, when?... Why?"_ " _Because, she found out about us"_ Harvey replied with certainty, as if it was a statement of a fact. Donna couldn't believe what she was hearing, Harvey was going there, apparently about to discuss something which had been always off limits to them. Donna gasped _"Harvey Specter, it's official, you really have gone mad"._ As the rain themed down Harvey quipped _"Mad about you"._

Donna was stunned, was this really happening. She had dreamed about this moment, when he would realize what was there right in front of him all along. Donna's reaction though was not how she imagined it, it felt surreal, like she had accepted it would never happen and now it was apparently finally happening. _"Harvey don't do this to me, don't say things you are going to freak out about and run away from later."_ Harvey ran a wet hand through his even wetter hair, looking Donna directly into her eyes he wanted to get his statement of intent across _"_ _I'm done running Donna, I know I was such a coward, I'm in love with you. I always have been."_ Donna loved him so much, but she started to panic, remembering what happened the last time, she wanted to give him an out before they could not return from this _"Harvey you don't have to do this" Just because I'm leaving now, you" ..._ Before Donna could continue, Harvey interrupted her _"I'm doing it because finally my fear of losing you,... Donna I can see it was selfish. My fear of you never knowing how I feel about you is so much greater. I can finally say what my heart has always known."_ Donna gasped, feeling weak at the knees, her heart racing. Was he really finally going to do this.

 _"_ _I know I don't deserve you and I'm so sorry",_ in this moment Harvey's voice started to shake and Donna gasped again at the sincerity she felt emanating from Harvey. _" Donna please don't go, stay. Not for me. Stay for us."_ Donna smiled shyly and Harvey moved forward, Donna's mouth opened slightly, she was hesitating, it had been so long with them being in the friend zone she didn't know how to act around him, now that they had officially had 'the talk'. Before she could speak, Harvey cupped her face and they kissed. A soft and passionate kiss full of hope, meaning and love. A kiss that felt like coming home. It felt like it has always been meant to be. The most natural thing in the world. When they broke apart, Donna quipped out of breath slightly, _"You know you kept me waiting a long time for this Mister."_ Harvey smirked and his head tilted slightly to the side _"How about we take this inside and I can start the grovelling there."_ Donna nodded and smiled _"Now that's an idea, well now, I don't want you dying of pneumonia out here I suppose."_ With that Harvey paid Donna's cab and grabbed her suitcase. Harvey held out his other hand to Donna and she smiled as she held it in hers. Harvey smiled and spoke _"You know I almost told you that night Jessica left, when we last held hands. "I know!" "How can you be so sure." "Cause I'm Donna". "Yes. You. Are",_ Harvey said smiling. With that they both smiled as they entered Donna's apartment together, finally both on the same page and ready to begin their happily ever after together.

 ** _The End_**


End file.
